K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
