Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
