Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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