She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
