At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
