My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I need a beard to bite.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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