You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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