The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Text me some of your sweat
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
