she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
