Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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