Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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