His pubic hair was longer than his dick
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
