If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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