how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Randomize