My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Fuck appropriateness.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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