No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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