As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize