i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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