this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
