I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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