That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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