so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Randomize
