I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
