My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
