So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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