the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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