i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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