i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
