with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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