So drunk, too bad you don't want this
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
