Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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