I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
