she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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