piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize