At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
