I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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