I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
