Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
