okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
