Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
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