I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
