dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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