I wish I could punch you in the face.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
