Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize