he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
