I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
