I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
he shaved USA in his pubs
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
