Christians are straight up FREAKS
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
