I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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