its not stalking. its research.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
And the cops told us we were all naked.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Randomize
