but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
