Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
