do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Welp...herpes.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
