So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
