gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
