pop tarts are not kleenex
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
