absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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