so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
