Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
