Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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