Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
this just has baby written all over it
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
