so explain again why im purple
no
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
